Good Bitch… Good Pups is the name of the new parenting book I’m writing.

As a parent, you occasionally have to use every bit of your will power not to smash your teens when they need an attitude adjustment. When at times you’d like to turn feral on their arses and bring out some Kung Fu moves, Bruce Lee would be proud of. Wasabi is good for when they are small, put into their mouths if they swear or lie. Not a teen as they can run faster than you can, or even feel like trying to run.

I know and understand the biological hormone and chemical drop that teens and toddlers get. But holly cow some days you aren’t prepared for what can send a kid to loose their shit. It maybe for cutting their sandwiches into squares, not triangles. Yesterday I was telling my 13 year old to put sheets on his bed (he was sleeping straight on his mattress eww). He said he had… I checked… he lied. So he got left behind and unfortunately didn’t get to see “Big Boys Toys” with his siblings and dad. So he lost it…

  • Lied
  • Flipped me the bird
  • Swore like he had tourettes
  • Rode off down the road on the family trail bike, musta thought ohhh dumb idea and promptly came back

So as you can imagine that all went down like a cup of cold sick. So now its no technology and my job to embarrass him on a blog. He’s now…

  • Picking up horse shit and grubbing thistles
  • Helping Kiwi hammer in nails at our rental
  • Spraying weeds
  • 9am to 12 then lunch, 12:30 to 3 then smoko
  • Working until 6pm, today, tomorrow and maybe the next day

Treating it like a job, depending on attitude adjustment. I’ve explained school is a privilege. You study (not half arsed) to get educated to get accepted into a course or apprenticeship to get the career you want. Or you muck around, be a smart arse, leave school uneducated and you will have a job you hate eg like now (this hard labor). Just to have enough money to survive.

I reminded him a few times “I love you NOT YOUR BEHAVIOR”. Saying these things quietly without losing your patience is where your power lies. Violence isn’t the answer and don’t let your kids forget:

  • Consequences and a ripple effect for everything you choose to do or how you choose to behave
  • Respect is earned
  • Trust is earned and kept by being open and honest
  • Don’t lie
  • Treat others how you wish to be treated
  • Don’t winge
  • Parents work tirelessly to try to give their kids the best life possible

Also remind them that mum is the “Queen of the don’t fuck with me kingdom” and she will always win.

If your kids think you are being over-dramatic when you are upset, tell them whatever. When an octopus gets stressed out, it eats itself… NOW THAT’S OVER-DRAMATIC! When you can’t control whats happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to whats happening. That’s where your power is, keep your cool mums and dads.

Tell them… Teenagers, tired of being harassed by your stupid parents? ACT NOW! Move out and get a job and pay your own bills while you still KNOW EVERYTHING!


Kia Kaha xox


ps: no kids were physically harmed in the writing of this blog!