Why do us woman and girls seem to constantly criticise our bodies…?
When I used to look in the mirror I’d see, bum with dimply cellulite and back rolls, non perky boobs with stretch marks, a non flat tummy… no thigh gap. Hating your body effects all of your life. Its negative, you can’t 100% focus on the good things like relationships, work and parenting. It causes bad moods, eating disorders, depression and anxiety. I think its such a waste of quality time, time that can be used for good, positive purpose. My husband sees comforting and attractive curves to spoon and my kids say I’m soft to cuddle and think I’m beautiful. Why can’t we embrace this curvaceous, not perfect body not for what it looks like, but for all it can do?
My soft tummy with dimples grew all my beautiful children. My now saggy boobs fed them. The cellulitey bum sat as I comforted and cuddled my family and loved them all unconditionally. My big thighs walked them around. My strong arms and hands cooked and cleaned, held, cuddled, lifted and provided for them. Really our bodies are a marvel at what they can do: run, jump, think. The organs pump, filter, build, warm and supply us blood and oxygen to live. Instead of concentrating on the thousands of incredible things our bodies can do, we obsess on one thing, how it looks.
Its a narrow focus on weight, weight is such a tiny part of what the body can do. Society is drowning in media images of how women should look, photo shopped and unrealistic. Look at the skeletal, emaciated bodies on the fashion runway, that’s considered beautiful. On the front of every magazine and TV advertising. Skinny is perceived as healthy, which is not always true. You can be curvaceous, healthy and fit too. We yo-yo diet and beat ourselves up if we don’t get down to conform to a certain size society accepts. No woman seems happy no matter what size they are with their body. Small boobs, big boobs, no hips, big hips, big bum, no bum. There is so much pressure to loose post baby weight on mums after a delivery instead of concentrating wholeheartedly on baby. We worry about our squishy tummy and boobs and dropping the baby weight. Society makes us believe that we aren’t beautiful or worthy of value if we are not skinny, its wrong our priorities are wrong. Think of the big companies and the billions of dollars they make from the fad diets and telling us we need to look younger with creams, lotions, make up, surgeries, botox etc. The images will only increase, with social media and the way the world is heading. We need to stop and pause and reflect on our own bodies. Evaluate and celebrate that we are all unique individuals, no one is the same. Celebrate these bodies on what they do, not how they look. Remember curves are womanly, we don’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.
I say its good to be different to my kids. Pipi my eldest daughter is amazing at creative things, drawing, dance and has an amazing bond with animals. Scarlet is kind, gentle, funny and academic. My girls are so different in every way. I don’t want society to define them on looks alone then judge. Its up to us as mothers and roll models to give them confidence to praise them on their accomplishments. Not what they look like! Then learn to self praise and accept compliments ourselves. Teach that bodies do amazing things. Bodies are fit capable, strong, enduring and have incredible mechanics inside. Teach them to get self esteem from everywhere… like doing things for others, kindness, creating, humor, arts, academics and sport, not from looks alone. Make sure your daughters understand curves are womanly and puberty creates curves and that’s OK… your bodies a marvel.
How do you find inner peace within your own body? How do you learn to love your body? I think it takes time and learning to change negative thought patterns. Embrace the fact no ones perfect, its not realistic to think we all can be. When you are negative to yourself, quickly rethink and change what ever you said to a positive. Give yourself permission to have curves, to eat the cake. Accept the fact that over nine month stretch marks developed, due to growing a human inside, someone you created. Have confidence in the fact your body has lived, is aging, curves are nothing to feel shame about. Women need to tell themselves they are beautiful, soft, warm and valued. If you are curvy embrace the uniqueness. Remembering to concentrate on what the body does, all the things it can do and has done, the positives. Say things nice about yourselves out loud, that your daughters hear. Daughters absorb from you a lot of how they feel about themselves. Also look in the mirror, smile, have a positive inner voice. Accept compliments from partners or anyone and say “Thank You”. Talk about curvy hips and bums as a positive thing. Appreciate what you have and find clothes that fit you well and you feel good in. Ignore the numbers on the scales and the size labels in clothes, you are who you are. Cut the label out if its bothers you that much. Wear togs, no matter what size you are, swim with your kids and live. Women need to stop judging other women, stop worrying what others think, who cares! Help ourselves to accept ourselves and stop this guilt ridden love hate emotional relationship with our bodies.
My husband said to be honest its not the flat chested, no butt, waif, model like figures men look at. Its the hips, bums, boobs and curves they like. So start to celebrate what your body can do and remember no one is perfect… what is perfect? Celebrate your difference and embrace your uniqueness, no one else is like you. An original one of a kind! Your curvaceous body is a lived in dimply marvel… its a vessel.
Life would be boring if we were all the same. You are here for a reason and its not to have a perfect body. You are here for a way BIGGER reason than that… embrace the curves and find your purpose, make a difference.
Love Suz xox