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Suzie Johnson

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Balance

We Stopped Bread in our House

We stopped… actually I stopped bread in our house. Kiwi the tortured soul, says “how’s a man meant to survive without bread lol”. He’s pretty stoked about it all lol… NOT

Gotta love him, he said he’s guna get black market bread, put it under his bed lol. No pies, no bread, no heart attacks.

Do u miss the bread kiwi? F–k yeah … lol

Watch my YouTube video on it by CLICKING HERE

 

Love Suz x

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House work makes you ugly!
Don’t do too much.

My OCD mates won’t cope.
Watch it at ya own risk lol CLICK HERE

 

Suz x

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I’m Not Going to Tell you How to Parent

I’m not guna tell you how to parent in my Parenting Show. Take what you need from me talking about every aspect of parenting. I grew up in the 70s, in an era where quality time with dad was a trip to the dump, TAB and filling flagons at the Onekawa.

I discus my 5 kids and others, different ages. Eating a packet of blue tack, kids chatting to you on the loo while you poo or wee. Danger shags, putting the Wiggles video on so you get 15 mins away from Toddler eyes. Feeding, sleeping, socialising, risk taking, creative horse shit picking up discipline, through the years.

Fanny prolapse, incontinence laughs, pygmy boobs, losing it, the looks, relationships, everything. Stories, scenarios, raw relate-able real! I’m a BAD arse mum, not a snob mob mum.

I can do a fundraiser talk for your school or organisation, email me at headoffice@ooshshop.co.nz

 

Suz …

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Mother of the Year Tonight!

Mother of the year tonight.

Cereal and milk with hard boiled eggs, for dinner tonight kids… watching Beauty and the Beast movie!

My bra is off, this mum has clocked out for the day.

Covered most of my bases… Dairy, Carbs, Protein and Fruit (dried)

BOOM

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Does your child talk ALOT?

I talk a lot… a lot! Always have, Oprah said “I was a talkin child”. My brain fires stuff at me constantly that is random and feels urgent. Then it says to me internally “quick you have to say it before you forget it”. My brain often doesn’t give me time to organise my thoughts, find some tact and prioritise what I need to say. I have an over powering urge and a need to get it out, I don’t mean to be but can be tactless, which has got me in trouble a lot. At times I talk so fast, because I have a lot to say, in a small amount of time. I spray my words like a machine gun.

My school reports reflected that in a negative way every year “If she put as much time into her school work, as she does into socialising she would do extremely well”. I heard on the telly, on the news when I was last in Melbourne that apparently girls that talk a lot could be ADHD, makes sense. I control it better now, age plus experience helps. I can read a situation better, I’m older. I have trouble sleeping at times because my brain doesn’t like to switch off. I often listen to sleep meditation via YouTube in bed to get sleep. I have a pad by my bed so I can write things down to clear de-clutter my head, I have hundreds of books I write in. I really need to concentrate to be a good listener, close my mouth and open my ears, an art I’m trying to improve, especially as a mum. I need to merely listen and hug not always feel I need to help solve their problems for them.

If you have a chatty daughter put her into speech and drama, that’s positive. If you have a chatty kid don’t tell them to shut up. Be mindful, sit down occasionally look us in the eye and listen as we often have interesting things to say. Don’t just give low energy responses like, mmm, oh, wow, as we know you aren’t listening, it feels like you don’t care. Making talking a positive experience.

My brother used to say ” shuuuuut uuuuppp Suzie, no one wants to hear about your stupid horse”. Mum would let me talk about my horse for half an hour each night while she cooked tea. She always would say “Suzie… think before you speak”. I now talk for a living, public speaking in a bid to empower women including myself. My much younger sister by 16 years, always says I’m undiagnosed ADHD, a bit manic, ADHD was unheard of when I was growing up in the 70s, Mum just kept me busy. I kept myself busy organising the neighbourhood kids to make shows and play schools, of course I was always the teacher.

Let them talk, tell her broad casting school in Wellington is a great option, with all that talk she could be on the radio or tv or in politics one day. I will… “She believed she could, so she did” with my rock a very patient, tolerant husband by my side, “he believes I can, so I do!”

Suz x

 

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Up by 6am

Up at 6 am, gone to Napier by 7 am, worked at SEW our factory, then dinner with my sister and the drive home to Tokomaru by 10 pm. Joys of being self-employed, totally my choice. I was told today that “I’m lucky” I hate that. It’s not luck, a Lotto win is luck. It’s high risk, hard work, time away from my kids, self-belief and gritty determination.

Came in the door, chucked in a load of washing, patted the dogs, checked my sleeping kids, looked in the fridge (habit I do at everyone’s house, looking for inspiration) and… nooooo… washing machine leak. Some things can wait till the morning, house work makes you ugly. I’ll pretend I never saw it, surprise for Kiwi in the morning. I’ll act all surprised, he’ll be up first and see it first and feel he must sort it.

Wife of the year, not tonight, I’m tired, bed for me.

Night!

 

Suz x

 

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Watch What You Say to People

Did anyone see that bullying doco?

I said to my boys and their mate on the way to school “watch what you say to people especially girls”. Things you say may be a passing comment and you forget straight away, but that comment can say in the persons head for ever and really affect them. Then Fletch on the radio cemented what I had said, he said someone at school called him a mono brow, so he got his dads razor and shaved between his eyes, the full width of the razor!!! His mum nearly died when she saw what he had done and gave him tweezers for future use!

Words can hurt…

Too fat
Too skinny
Ugly
Weird
Odd
Bung eye
Slow

Teach kids to have empathy to choose their words carefully. Teach them empathy and that there is a ripple effect for everything. Teach them to stick up for the little guy. Teach them bully’s suck, if you remind them enough hopefully it sinks in. I pull mine up regularly for comments to their siblings, remind and teach what is and isn’t acceptable.

Be kind as you don’t know what’s going on in someone else’s world.

Have a great day peeps!
Crazy mama x

 

 

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Speaking at Linton Military Camp

I received such a warm welcome from all the officers and their wives, when I was guest speaking at Linton Military Camp. Great conversation and food, I was treated so well, like a lady, chairs pulled out, the works. A beautiful seven course meal and fancy settings, it was like a wedding being seated at the top table. I kept my talk raw, real, relatable, you know me… UNPC… a bit of a laugh, but lots of heart. Everything from business to what I’ve learnt as a mum, a wife and an entrepreneur.

I could fit a lot of words into the 20 mins I had been allocated, I machine gun talked lol, sprayed my words 😊 Some men looked shell shocked as the women nodded away. I like to learn from any experience, tonight I learnt something from Jethro, he’s in the Air Force. We discussed behavior and actions, he teaches this at home to his kids and to his team at work.

The concept “Staying above the line!”

Ownership
Accountability 
Responsibility 
—————-
Blame 
Excuses 
Denial

Own your decisions and actions, love this!

Crazy Mama Suz xxx

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How to Paint your Chickens Claws

A tutorial on how to paint your pet chooks claws/ nails with Pipi Johnson. An important life skill.

No pet chickens were harmed in the making of this video.

Quite the opposite, all pimped out and nowhere to go.

To check out Pipi’s video CLICK HERE

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