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Suzie Johnson

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Grief

Challenge Yourself

Challenge yourself!

  • Get out of your comfort zone!
  • It makes you feel alive!
  • The stress of a new challenge creates more focus!

Fight or flight, it’s a biological response, we all have self-doubt, that’s normal. Still push and try, find joy in the journey. When you complete the challenge, you feel amazing!!!

  • Trust in yourself!
  • Trust the process in getting there!
  • No regrets!
  • No excuses!

My challenge, my new parenting show I’m writing, I’m speaking end of September. December I’m doing Iron Maori half marathon in Napier. Then after that another goal of some sort, maybe book number two?

What’s your next challenge or goal? Could be anything, big or small:

  • Study?
  • Travel?
  • Saving?
  • Fitness?
  • Relationship improvement?
  • Music lessons?
  • Night class?
  • Local council?
  • Tell me!

I have more to say on challenges, watch my video by clicking here

Suz x

Featured post

Absorbing some brainy vibes!

I’m in the library, so I don’t find things to do at home, like clean.

Absorbing some brainy vibes…sitting in here. All my tabs are open. Set my goals, smashing the shit out of them. Goal number One is to do 21 km run in Iron Maori Napier December 2nd, 2017.  I ran around Massey, boxed yesterday just keeping fit each day, it helps my mood.

Goal number two is writing my UNPC, real, raw, relatable, earthy, funny parenting show! It’s in Napier, the first one is a fundraiser at the end of September. Tickets are available at our Napier OOSH store.

Procrastinating a bit, people watching, love it.  It’s hard to be quiet in here, I creepily whisper if people talk to me, I wanna yell out stuff! I respect librarians they seem so self-contained. Piano people come and randomly play it intrigues me to watch.

Have a great day.

Crazy mama Suz!

Featured post

Social media approval from the family

I’ve sat all my kids and hubby down a few weeks ago to talk. Asked them are they OK with me discussing topics including them openly on my public profile page.

  • Talking
  • Blogging
  • Videos
  • UNPC at times
  • Raw real relatable
  • Interactive
  • Thought provoking
  • Supportive to other parents
  • Business
  • Life
  • Discipline
  • Funny stories
  • Craziness 
  • Parenting our way
  • Them
  • Fun
  • Current daily events
  • Everything and anything

My kids are great, secure in themselves said they don’t mind at all, they like it. The kids at school think it’s cool one said. I’ve always been extremely open and honest with them from day one. It’s kinda normal for them, Mum is Mum.

Me…

  • A bit out there
  • UNPC
  • Tactless
  • Filter free
  • Extrovert

But ALWAYS with pure intentions, that’s how we Johnson’s roll.❤️ They agreed to talk to me if anything I do or say upsets them on here, so far so good. Their self-esteem is 100% intact. You, me and the kids are learning as we go, let’s support and help each other, life’s a crazy ride! Have a few laughs along the way.

I know my very open, not very private style will ruffle a few people’s feathers along this journey, but at least it gets us all talking and communicating. Pushing the limits and out of our comfort zone makes us feel alive.
Suz x

 

Featured post

Not My Problem

 

I learnt this from my boxing coach Mr Filipo Sana.

I forgot my wraps Filipo’ ‘not my problem Suz, I taught you to come prepared’

I can’t run in these boxing boots and I haven’t brought my sneakers Filipo’ ‘not my problem Suz, I taught you to come prepared, don’t make your problem my problem, I’m not owning that’.

We take on other peoples problems, in work and life unnecessarily:

  • Our kids
  • Our work mates
  • Our friends
  • Our jobs, especially as a supervisor or boss, people like to offload responsibility, its easier than fixing the problem themselves

Its frustrating when we have given the plan or the tools to succeed already. Like at staff training or family rules. So I will use this now not my problem you sort it out at home and work. I guess its human nature, easier to pass the problem on… try to make it some one else’s. If this happens; mirror image that problem right back at them… reflect. It could be the grenade theory, say not my problem.

If the kids aren’t prepared for the cross country at school, haven’t bothered to find their sneakers and gear until the morning, last minute before school its not your problem mum. So let them face the consequences of running in bare feet, let them feel the ripple effect of how being under-prepared affects them and those around them. Poor performance running, prickles and cold feet. Less house points for their team in school sports for poor performance. Hopefully they’ll be more prepared next time. The Johnson kids understand that every decision in life they make has a consequence and a ripple effect. More adults need to take this on board. Be responsible for your own shit!

A good parent an effective manager and supervisor gives the team the tools to do a good job and the respect to trust they will, the training, the inductions, the manuals, the resources and the communication. But a good manager doesn’t do other peoples jobs for them. They also don’t own others slack behaviors or responsibility and job avoidance. Use the mirror and grenade theory, chuck it back, leave them to deal with it not my problem its your job, you sort it, accept the consequences and ripple effects.

NOT MY PROBLEM… DEAL WITH YOUR OWN SHIT!

Suz x

 

Featured post

Its not so much time that heals, but what you do with your time that heals you…

What is grief?

Grief after death, the crazy up down, unpredictable emotion, a roller coaster ride. Unsure of when you are able to get off. For me grief felt raw, primal, made me so heavy hearted, with other emotions thrown in like anger, shock and a big wallop of OMFG… WTF. I felt all this when my dad an alcoholic died at 65 years. Shock sets in even if its been a long a long dying process. A state of, I feel physically sick to my stomach. Amazing how deep grief can affect everything, your appetite, your thoughts, your actions, your memory, your soul, your core. Any normal behavior it affects, who you are, but that’s OK.

Amazing how you feel yourself wanting to curl up in the fetal position on a bed and sob into a pillow quietly. Bed feels like a great option, so you don’t have to face the world. Then its between your soul and the one that’s leaving or left this world. Vivid dreams happen . When someone dies it feels like a piece of you has left with them. Grief is not always all about how close to you that person or animal was and you will miss them. But it can be other feelings like a relief they are gone, for any reason… pain… anger… that’s OK too. Or the guilt you felt when they left. Did I do enough, was I good enough? Why???

Grief personally for me wasn’t for all of who he was but more of what I wished he could be. I grieved for the person he wasn’t, as so badly who I wanted him to be. I found I got to understand and know my dad better after he was gone through other people, colleagues, friends, through his house, contacts, photos, letters he wrote, papers he’d written. I knew him but didn’t really know him. Time heals but there is no set time and no set way and that’s OK. Life is a bit selfish how it doesn’t slow down to give you time to heal. It does get easier.

A beautiful sister of mine Trish told me something that helped a lot “Its not so much time that heals, but what you do with your time that heals you”. Oh yeah and “get some anti-stress women’s multi vitamins”

Death creates courage and empathy. Death is a journey for all involved, adults, children, babies, animals. For the soul and the ones left behind. A journey of soul searching. A life journey…

  • your memories
  • your missing them
  • your time
  • your pace
  • your feelings… no one else’s
  • your gut…trust it and do what you need to do

Maybe there’s guilt you have to work through, your feelings of loss, what if, why, what could I have done better. Timing is everything…

  • when to unpack
  • when to read their belongings

Remember its just stuff, stuff isn’t who they were, it was just things they had… material possessions… remember how they made you feel. Laughing, crying, reminiscing, that helps heal the open wound.

Families can say some crazy things too, remember grief can make you say or do things quite irrational, so forgiveness may need to flow freely.

Anything can set off tears even a year or two or ten down the track

  • a letter
  • a song
  • a saying
  • a smell
  • a place
  • and that’s OK

I feel that person around me when I think of them. Talking about whomever has passed keeps their spirit alive, even years later. It also helps you to talk. Life is for the living, don’t take it for granted “inspire before you expire”.

Funerals are a celebration of a life lived. We are only lent to the earth for a non certain amount of time. So LIVE. Do your bucket list. Make each day count. “What have you done over your life time to makes others lives better” and remember grief is very personal, the way you grieve may be the opposite to the way someone else does. There’s no right way, so don’t judge. No set time limit on grief, its a process. Respect everyone’s own personal grief journey… for a pet or a loved one and be kind. Oh and dropping off cake helps! (preferably with cream cheese icing).

Suz xox

 

 

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