Suzie Johnson

Suzie Johnson fills your soul with raw uncensored honest comments on life's struggles. WARNING Full of juicy bits and opinions that may challenge the way you think about life!

Relationship Advice

Ways to help you physically and mentally when your husband pisses you off…

I was away on a buying trip for For Frocks Sake our imported shop and went five grand over budget. I didn’t mean too… honestly I didn’t. He went off at me, feral, growling me, angry as. I was in the wrong, but I brought such cool clothes!

What I find helps when your husband makes you angry is doing the fingers vigorously (not to his face or any where he can see of course). If he’s in another room I’ll step behind the wall and for about a minute wave my arms and hands around, flipping the bird, doing fingers, jumping around, waving legs, bending knees, pulling faces, lip syncing obscenities. It uses a lot of pent up anger. Its like a work out for arms and hands. Its quite funny because they are in the other room and non the wiser… it makes you feel a whole lot better. Kinda like screaming, but its quiet.  

Its a tool you can use anywhere eg in a public toilet, while they wait for you outside. In the shower while they lie in bed lazily. In the kitchen while you cook dinner and they are in the lounge watching TV. This is about you releasing a bit of tension and anger towards them, instant gratification, a wee work out, no yelling needed!!! Makes a much calmer house. Share it with your girlfriends if you think it may help their relationship too. Much cheaper than counselling.

Happy times flipping the bird (naughty finger) behind walls. Wanna see the technique in action click here to check it out.



Featured post

Do something that scares you!

Get out of your comfort zone to GROW! Shit just got real.

I’m outa my comfort zone… BOOM I signed myself up to do a public boxing match for diabetes and obesity, at the stadium here in Palmerston North. When you put it out there publicly you gotta do it!!! announce to the world. Training nearly makes me vomit and I sweat like a gypsy with a mortgage. I’m getting fitter and stronger, there’s a strong compulsive motivation to train, the incentive is I don’t want to get a hiding in public.

May the 6th is D DAY! I need to have more faith in myself and my life that scares me. I thought waking up to my husband each day was enough. But no, if you aren’t getting out of your comfort zone you aren’t growing, you aren’t challenging yourself to be a better version of yourself. For me its not about a punch up, I can go to the pub for that. Its about getting fit, setting a goal, learning technique, co-ordination, focus, discipline, hard-work, focusing on ME… not the business, my kids, my hubby. Setting a goal and smashing the shit out of it, stick at it and make myself not quit.

I’ve lost nine kg already, the weight is falling off because I’ve changed my mindset. I want to be fit, I haven’t made it about being skinny and weight. Its about me and fitness, to be strong mentally, emotionally and physically. Its quite liberating as I am one that has battled with weight my whole life. I am at peace with my curves, boobs, rolls and stretchmarks, now they tell my story… I’ve lived. I guess its a turning 40 thing, you look at yourself differently and think.

Yip I’ll be judged, I’m OK with that! Others opinions of me is their business, so I’ll leave that with them.

I have faith in me, my kids have too. My ten year old son told me I’d demolish the other person. I guess that may be a bit of the Crazy Mumma Suz parenting coming out.

What I’m getting at is get out of your comfort zone, set a goal, big or small. To grow,to challenge yourself, it will lift your self esteem, you will be proud of yourself mastering a new thing. If you don’t try you will never know. I’m not sure who I’m fighting yet, so watch this space. Left right left, jab hook, duck and dodge the punches and wave if you see me running.

Watch my video blog on scaring yourself by clicking here




Ladder Theory

Life is not just about the destination, its about the journey.

Its about what you learn on the journey, its like a ladder of life. We are all trying to get to the top, that’s the destination. We loose track of whats important along the way, like the old ‘stop to smell the roses‘ saying.

Each rung is an experience, its what you learn and absorb on the way up the ladder. Some rungs are amazing beautiful experiences you learn loads, put it in the memory bank. Some rungs you may experience struggle or mistakes. You may go down the ladder, but from every mistake you learn more about yourself, you grow, get stronger and get on up on your way again.

Its in the struggles and mistakes that we find our strength.

Remember there are snakes out there, people who are negative and will try to bring you down. Like the game, snakes and ladders, you can’t control their behavior, but you can control how you react to them, that’s where your power is. Ignore them, the dream takers and learn and move on up.

The moral of this story is its not always about the destination for me, 20 towns of OOSH. Its about what I’m learning on my way up the ladder and appreciating all the experiences on the way. Stopping to smell the flowers, then eat the cake and drink the wine!

Check out my video blog here


Love Suz xox

Boat Theory

I like to think of life and work or business as a boat, the Suzie boat.


  1. You have a few on the front, positive, energetic and helping you to move forward.
  2. The middle ones go with the flow, they are there for the ride.
  3. One or two on the back are trying to sink the boat.

Where and who do you put your energy into? Yup the front ones. We waste too much time and energy worrying about the negative arse on the back trying to sink us. That energy isn’t worth thinking about, or wasting our breath on, or spending time with. Ignore it and it will go away, like a flower, don’t feed and water it, it won’t grow.

So the message here is ignore life’s negativity, its not worth it. Put all your energy and appreciation into the positive ones moving things forward, the ones that love and support you. The ones along for the ride will look after themselves… Kia Kaha.

So remember where your focus goes, your energy flows, so focus on the good shit.

Check out my boat theory video here


Love Suz xox


I need to think differently about aging! I turned 43 on the 16th of February. Freaking me out only seven years until I’m 50… that’s half a century.

I guess we believe we have lost our youth and will get old and wrinkly. I need to think of this age thing in a different way. Age is change, change is good, its moving forward, I’ve made it to 43.

I’ve learnt so much in the last year, two years, ten years. I’m a totally different woman than I was at 20, 30, especially at 40. I’m more sure of who I am now than I’ve ever been. Just because I’m aging doesn’t mean I’ll get ugly. It means that I have bigger laugh lines, lived in skin. I have experienced ups and downs, learnt new things about others and mostly myself. I need to own it, be glad I’ve grown older and believe I’m lucky to still be on this earth among the people I love for another year. I am who I am…

Media has a lot to answer for, age is never portrayed as a positive thing. No old Super Hero’s, no Super Grannies, no Old and wise Grannie with a perm in red Lycra flying to save the day. Society only thinks you are strong when you are young. I’m stronger physically and emotionally at 43 than I was at 20.

Each day is a gift, life is a gift, be thankful, be grateful especially for the little things. As we age we are evolving, growing, learning, changing, that’s a real privilege, especially when I think of people I know who have passed young.

I am aging gracefully, not fighting it, using face cream but not surgery. I’m still challenging myself, setting goals, making the most of what I have before I’m incontinent. I know I’ll never look 20 again, I can’t trick or defy gravity with my boob height and wrinkles. But I have experienced, I’ve lived, loved, laughed and am owning this skin. I am fitter and eating healthier than when I was young. I am grateful to get another year in this body to be me… Mum, Daughter, Wife, Friend, Employer, Sister, Auntie and Neighbor.

Check out my video on age by clicking here

Suz xox


Best for your own safety to get out of my way… shits gonna change!



I’m sick of the weather in Manawatu. Miss my family and Napier friends and need work not to be at my home. I need to be closer to my sewing factory. I think we need change for two reasons.

1.  You learn loads and you are ready and want to change.


2.  You get hurt and shat on that you simply have no choice and have too.

So make the most of it, change is good, its a process. Sometimes life has to be shaken up and re arranged, then the universe puts you on the path you we’re meant to be on. Maybe its time for everything to change. Maybe its a sign you are reading this? Whats up in your life? Do you need to change it to be happier? Growth is impossible without change. Change can be uncomfortable. People who can’t change their minds and think outside of the box, will not change anything in their lives for the better.

Habit prevents change, its easier to stay the same. Change is a process, its scary, its not in the comfort zone, but its good, its progress. So once you have made a decision you make a plan start de-cluttering.

  • Your mind?
  • People?
  • Your life?
  • Your house?
  • All your shit… clear it!

Its quite liberating, I’ve started on drawers, tipping out and throwing away. Its slow but at least I’ve started. Now a move can’t happen fast enough. Its all or nothing, something has clicked in my brain NOW is the time. Its funny just one event pushed me to want out and away. The straw that broke the camels back. Fight or flight, fought for years, now its time to fly.

So 2017 will be a big change, new beginnings, sell our house, buy some land and move on. Scary but exciting. Huge workload ahead, as I’m aware its easier to stay put. I of all people know the easy option isn’t always the best option.

So our life, our future, our choice of who we choose to be around us and our family. One precious life use it wisely, don’t waste it. If you aren’t happy, change your life or yourself.


Suz xox




His Passion is contagious…

My ten year old Murphy alias “Chunky Boy” (nicknamed because he was humongous when he was born, he looked like he came out wanting a pie and cake). He’s a rodeo kid, he lives to ride bucking calves one one day steers, bulls, horses and broncos. He gets his rush and zest for life from risk. As a mum its hard to stomach, but I suck it up and let him. School certainly isn’t and never has been his focus. He’s not an academic, but definitely a creative with a short attention span. Focus has been a struggle until he discovered this sport. His goal is to be a professional bull rider in the USA. He absorbs info, watches all the older cowboys, any minute he gets he’s on You Tube watching coaches and bull rides.  He is disciplined, he runs and eats well, he has to stay under 40kg. Practices on a pony and on a barrel. His passion certainly isn’t mine, but that’s what makes it unique. We aren’t a family that has ever been into rodeo. We have five kids and this little fella is left field. The first time he saw bull riding he sat mesmerised with dilated pupils.

“That is what I want to do!”

We laughed it off as a phase and after hounding us for over a year we put him into a three day course with an amazing rodeo family “The Birds” in Kimbolton with their Parklee Bulls. Shane Bird is the bullfighter and keeps our kids safe. Risking his own life to protect them from the bulls! That takes BALLS! The coach Brad Scott is a five times Australian champ from Aussie.

Chunks had to learn how to ride properly and safely. Understand the form, balance and technical side with respect for animals and people and himself as a cowboy. He’s learnt to focus and clear his mind, encouraged to write his goals. Its taught him dedication and humility. Plus helped his natural competitiveness and learnt resilience. He’s learnt practice more and plan ahead.

A lot of kilometers and long drives all over New Zealand, for a six second ride. Patience to save for his gear, to be grateful and thankful for the ride and support. All of these traits will carry him through to be a good man, a kind man, a confidant and driven man with focus. I thank all the cowboys he has behind him for this. I especially thank Brad whom Chunky idolises. He really doesn’t realise how much he’s influenced my boy and is such a positive role model. I thank him for this.

Some people cruise through life without a goal or purpose, which is sad, whats the point? Find out what drives you, makes you get up early, excites you, is a passion and do that.

We drive past Massey University daily, Murph said “I’m not going to go to university mum, I’m going to break in horses and ride bulls…” I say “go for it my boy, be the best bull rider and horse breaker you can be. Make a goal and smash the shit out of it. I’m right behind you… with food, bandages and lots of positive, supportive, yelling from the stands!”

What I’ve learnt from my competitive rodeo calf riding ten year old “Chunky Boy”.

  • PASSION use their passion to get jobs done at home, “if you do this I’ll drive you here…” bribery is my friend.
  • FOCUS put in your ear plugs if there’s noise around you get in the ZONE!
  • GOALS set and write your goal, plan hoe to get there.
  • PRACTICE or you won’t win.
  • RESPECT animals bigger than you more.
  • APPRECIATE and thank help around you. You always need someone to help tie your riding rope in the shoot.
  • HUMILITY stay humble, no one likes a blow arse.
  • SHARE WHAT YOU KNOW let the ladder down, help another up.
  • DON’T GIVE UP you won’t always win, but don’t give up and roll over. Suck it up move on, tomorrows another rodeo.
  • LIFE IS TOUGH but you are tougher.
  • PASSION IS CONTAGIOUS I love watching rodeos now, love cowboys, love hats and boots.
  • RISK calculated risk is OK!
  • BE THE BEST YOU you can be. Fuck others opinions of what you should be.

This shit just got real.


Love Suz xox


My Kids Dating

Far out, dropped my thirteen year old son off to go to the movies to meet his girlfriend (who’s really lovely and I like her). Conversation went something like this…

“Make good choices, don’t nick anything, remember lots of people know me in Palmy so if you’re an egg in town, I will find out”

“Nothing inappropriate, remember you are thirteen… but have fun”

“Call me later”

Letting go is hard especially when reflecting on my own teenage years. My kids seem so cute and young still. My husband Kiwi says I’d be a monster in law!. WHAT! Whatever, I think I’m nice. Is it normal for every mother to think it’ll have to be pretty amazing girls to deserve my three sons. I know they are only young, but I worry about girls and how forward they seem to be these days on phones and social media. You hear of stories of girls trapping boys with pregnancy, like some on Teen Mom on TV. Its all really scary. I do think and worry a lot. The teen brain is so different to an adult brain, thinking of the now, not the future.I have two daughters also, five kids altogether.

No mothers perfect, but there is a million ways to be a good one. I try, its not easy to let go. Also keeping a very open communication where no subject is tabu. Both Kiwi and I try to be approachable and talk about age appropriate subjects they may bring up. My eldest boys are twins. I accidentally gave one of the twins the sex talk twice. LOL I got them muddled up! They think that’s a great joke, I will never live that down. I trust my relationship with my husband is a good example to the kids of how a man is to treat a lady and vice versa. Open communication, open affection, laughing and a 50/50 share of parenting and chores, they see on a daily basis. A strong sense of family as a unit and mutual respect. We all have better days than others. They all fight as siblings, but resolve. My husband and I fight occasionally too, not yelling or screaming at each other, but quietly work things out. I occasionally want to head butt him, but refrain.

The love in our house is gritty, raw, really crazy, funny BUT REAL. Hopefully they treat partners as they want to be treated and that is reciprocated.

I know they are young, 13, 13, 10, 9 and 7. But arghhh it still worries me and the dating is only the start. Can’t keep then close and protect them forever. I’ll always be around to pick up any pieces if need be.


Suz xox


You never look good trying to make someone else look bad.

Funny how people know more about me than I do. Especially living in a small town. Did you know I was pregnant again. LOL no me either… better contact the Woman’s Day. Is it better to be preggy at 42 or 52, now that would get me on the front page?

Being in business almost ten years now. Its weird I used to give a shit about what people said about me. People who hadn’t even me me would say they didn’t like me. Now I don’t as long as my close friends and family know me and love me. I really don’t care.

“BIG minded people talk about ideas. REGULAR minded people talk about events.SMALL minded people talk about other people”. Eleanor Roosevelt

I’m too busy with life to gossip. I’m often told of rumors of where I’m starting a business in a new town. Kids, work etc I’m too busy to worry about what others say or think of me. I KNOW I’m a good honest, hardworking person with a good heart, genuine, raw and fun. I think that people probably aren’t happy with their own lives, if they are busy worrying about mine. Remember just because it is said doesn’t mean it true. So if you feel like your always drawn into other peoples drama and gossip you don’t have to be… ignore, move on, change the subject. Remember that if a person gossips to you about others, they will gossip about you to others. I guess gossip is a party you don’t need to invite yourself to. Some people really enjoy and thrive off the adrenaline buzz of drama and gossip. Its negative energy and a waste of your precious time.

We have a saying “Its not my Lama, if I don’t need to feed and water it, its not my problem”. So if it isn’t directly your business or problem, don’t spread it. It will die a slow death when it hits your ears, you won’t give it the time or effort to pass it on. Ask yourself, is it mean or kind?, there’s a simple way to think of it. Is it constructive or destructive to pass it on. Is it helpful or encouraging. So don’t say things behind someones back if you won’t say it to their face. Karma’s always going to catch up with you so be wary of running your mouth.

Teenage girls you will have a lot less drama at school if they listen more and talk less… oh and play more sport and beware of boys. Birds pick at the best fruit, so if they talk about you, ignore it and carry on. They’ll find another subject soon. So basically as I always say you can’t control the way people act or what they say about you. You can control how you react to them. Be brave, walk away, IGNORE, don’t feed into it or give them amo. Find positives in people and talk about that. Girls let the ladder down and help other girls up with kind words, positive energy, real friendships.

A friendship doesn’t last when one person boosts them self by discussing others and putting others down. Be kind and think before before you speak. Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my big mouth SHUT


Suz xox

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